aged to perfection

by underswansea


I tend to use things until they can no longer be used. Take my debit card for instance, it was broken and misshapen, but worked, most of the time. Most of the time isn’t good enough when you are trying to pay for groceries or buying coffee in the morning.

So, I broke down and got a new one. Not a big deal considering they are free, however, it required me to walk into the bank.

The new card is confusing. It looks like the chip is on both ends of the card. I am constantly inserting the wrong end of the card into the debit machine. The purchase gets cancelled, and I look like a fool and have to ask the clerk to try it again. Sometimes I reinsert it the wrong way again.

Last Friday I went into the liquor store to purchase a bottle of wine for Lisa and I to celebrate the weekend. Before I inserted the card I gave the cashier the heads up that it was a new card and I wasn’t sure which end the chip was on. That was my way of saying, ‘this could take awhile’.

She was a pretty, young women and very helpful. Of course, why wouldn’t she be accessible to a good looking guy like me purchasing a bottle of top shelf $20 Zinfandel.

She said, ‘You can tap your card.’

‘How do you do that?’ I said.

She was all smiles. It made me feel good.

‘Just put the face of the card on the face of the debit machine. When it goes ‘ping’ it’s all done. No inserting the card. No entering the code.’

We completed the transaction in record time. I was proud of myself.

‘Wow’, I said, ‘You taught me something new.’

I felt a little flirtatious.

She said, “There was another old guy in here this morning who also needed help with his card.”

‘Thanks’, I said, tucked my tail, took my bottle of Zin and headed for the door.

Back in the truck Lisa asked, what took me so long.

‘It’s this goddamn new card,’ I said.