flashback – and still looking

by underswansea

when will i be getting wiser
they say it comes with age
and i sure as hell am
feeling my age
but not much wiser

i m asking
when
will it kick in
clarity
enlightenment
wisdom
all that stuff

when will i flow
with the rivers
feel at one
with the calmness
of the lake

when will i be able
to get by
with only my
floundering charisma
and dwindling goodlooks

when will it finally
be enough

when can i slip into the kootenay
naked fat and buoyant
casting from my back
for bulltrout
while my boney ass
acts like a rudder
bumping on round river rocks
the sun blinking through spruce

when will i be able to grow
40 lb rutabagas in the garden
and sell them as art
to tourists
each one numbered
and signed

when will i be able to make love
and know
for sure
finally
i did it correctly

i m not talking metaphorically

nothing is as simple as it sounds

when can i start to coast

i ve been listening
to the rivers and trees
been to the tops of mountains
but they re not talking
i don t think they trust me

when will it arrive

i m getting impatient

for christsake
if it s going to kick in
do it soon
i could use some wisdom
while still
young enough
to enjoy it.

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